Uganda was ranked highly as a favorite tourist destination in 2012. We thought we’d compile a few facts to help our dear visitors.

Fact number zero: I don’t win, I don’t lose. I just be.

1. A Ugandan president is called a Museveni, no matter the outcome of the elections.
2. The parliament was built without intelligence in it. It was only until 2011 that the august house started developing certain unverifiable signs of intelligence. However, officials worry that the available space may not be enough to hold the intelligence.
3. A minister is any public figure that can ably swindle public funds and get away with it.
4. 70% of police officers have eyes that can detect guns and any metallic objects in cars just by looking at the passengers.
5. It is illegal to have electricity 7 days in a row.
6. A government contract is only awarded to a provider if they cannot competently provide the service. Anything short of that will lead to immediate termination of the contract and severe penalty.
7. Kabakumba Masiko is a ninja.
8. You can get arrested for refusing to commit a crime.
9. Walking is prohibited in certain parts of the country.
10. Roads are constructed with potholes in them. Those without potholes are denied further maintenance until a thorough investigation is carried out.
11. Criminals in the private sector are loved by the people while those in the public sector are loved by the president.
12. It is imperative to have a nationwide violent strike at least once a year even if the strike essentially accomplishes nothing.

Special announcement:

While everyone else bores you with funny Christmas wishes and promotions, we are stepping up the game.

We traveled back in time and saw it all. Stay clicked for the baddest, awesomest series detailing what really happened when Mary found out that you could get pregnant just by being a virgin.

Christmas starts Dec 14th. Spread the word…