PLE: Celebrating The Worst Students

So we went looking for the worst performing students of 2012 to ask how they pulled it off. Here’s what happened in one of the villages.

Excuse me madam, can we please talk to your daughter?
Where are you from?
ULK.
Where?
ULK. It’s an NGO that helps people do things.
How?
It’s complicated.
What do you want from my daughter?
We were walking around looking for children who refused to pass P.7 and we saw many people from big newspapers entering your house to talk to her. So we thought we would also come and share some of her fame.
Oh, please come in. She’s in there watching TV.
Okay. Thank you madam. May The Almighty give you your 72 virgins when you die.

In the sitting room…

Excuse me, are you a famous musician like those of Museveni?
No!
Are you a famous actor like those of Bebe Cool?
No!
Are you Semakookiro’s mother?
Nooo! Why are you asking me all these questions?
Why are people coming here to talk to you with cameras?
Because I came out number one in PLE.
Oh. Just that? Anyway, congratulations on accomplishing such a tremendous step on a brittle road to the realization of your life goals.
Why are you using big words?
That’s how they talk to clever people. Okay, we’re leaving for us. All the best. Don’t listen to Lil Wayne and don’t get pregnant.
That’s all? You’re not going to ask me anything about my dreams in life like the others?
They have dreams in P.7? Where do you face when you’re sleeping?
Yes, I also have dreams. I want to become an engineer.
Have you done any course in mechanical engineering?
No!
Electrical engineering?
Nooo!!!
You’re going to start paying us for every second we waste standing here.
Mummmmmmyyyyyyyy!!!