Got a tip? Call (777) 625-7647
Subscribe
Search
Home Blog Page 46

Daniel Omara, the Hostel’s Odoch, on Kitty, Kiboko and Comedy

By
Mikey Makukuba
-
0

Daniel Omara of Stand Up Uganda and Mic Check and also of Comedy Night fame, is now, in addition to all of this, Daniel Omara of The Hostel fame. This week we swaggerjack the idea of interviewing comedic actors from a site like Cnn.com and asked him a few questions.

Urban Legend: Mr Omara, long time. Congratulations on moving up in the world and becoming a huge star. Even my mom watches and laughs, so  I kind of oversell the extent of our acquaintance and tell her that you regularly lend me money. It’s the only way I can get props like that.

Omara Daniel Pkwiiyulli: Interesting that are families have such keen interest in their decendants’ lives. My Grand Ma’s been a fan of yours (even on Facebook), so am I… by inheritance.

ULK: First question: You act as a student in The Hostel. But we have it on authority that before you became a stand up comedy star, you, Daniel Omara, were a school teacher. Are these malicious rumours and did you give kids kiboko mob and was it fun giving kiboko?

ODP: I was doing my teaching practice by then. Yes, it was lots of fun giving Kiboko… but not to students, only adult females. Out of school of course.

ULK: So you were one of those comedy studs we hear about. They say it’s possible to joke a woman into bed. You just say things and she laughs and laughs and laughs and next thing she is crawling out of your bed to make breakfast for you and your kids. Is this true in your experience?

DOP: I try to be modest but… YEAH! (Except for the part about kids). Truth is, women love men who make them happy, though sometimes plain good old perversion is mistaken for comedy, so evil intent is masked by the fact that she thinks “You wouldn’t dare!” Humour’s an aphrodisiac. That’s why most men bring their women to comedy night: so we can do the amusement part for them. The rest is gravy.

The Legends: Speaking of comedy night, you guys are filthy rich now. How lucrative is comedy? Rumour I am going to start says comedy night niggas own half the land that side of Bbunga.

 

Mr. Omara: And I won’t stop you. Anything can sell well if packaged well, and I think that’s our advantage: a new brand. But then again, comedy, like women, has its periods. January’s usually a crappy month… for everyone. And then there’s the occasional bombing here and there, and we have to wait for people to overcome their fear of crowded places. But we love what we do!

 

Question: You must also love Kitty. The lust in your eyes is very real. Or you are a very very good actor. Let’s talk about the Hostel. How did that come about? You were just walking and then Conrad Nkuttu says, “Dude, come and act on my show first.”?

Daniel: I do love Kitty (in both worlds), and about being the good actor… well, your words not mine. Thanks. I was called for the audition, and I just so happened to look and sound like “an Odoch”. Still not sure if that was a compliment.

Q: The character you play is complex. Is Odoch a good guy or a bad guy?

Odoch: Odoch is a complex dude with a funny way of expressing things- especially love. About his stand in the cosmos… I wouldn’t want to spoil the story for you. Keep watching!

In conclusion: Well, for now us guys we are going to go and watch the show, because we love Kitty too. I actually missed the one on Saturday and I need to find out what the deal is with Arach and Sober.

Say hi to Kitty for me if you are not the jealous type./

Walk To Work: A Legendary Live Review

By
Mikey Makukuba
-
0
Walk to Work

8:00 a.m.

Good morning (pant) Uganda. Sleek here. Did you (pant) walk to work? (pant) Did you? (pant). I didn’t. My housemate has one of those oil guzzlers  from outside countries that he uses to get from place to place without his feet ever touching the ground. So this morning I got a lift from him. On the way, the scribe in me caught this:

 

So you think you can walk eh?

I was dropped off a few meters from where I work. And people seemed to be walking without a care in the world. Smiling. Whistling even. Who does that? They didn’t know what I did. So I run. You cannot take any chances after seeing what I’ve seen.

The other legends are not here yet so it is my fairly safe assumption that they are walking here. They’ll give their sweaty reviews when they finally arrive. Stay tuned.

9:45 a.m.

Baz here.  I’m not walking to work. I’m nowhere near work.  I’m actually at home at quarter to ten watching the show on TV.  This news reader.  Her accent isn’t working either.

Besigye is on a trench surrounded by cops and noisy boys shouting anyone Sevo slogans.
The newsreader just said other politicians had came to join the protest. I’m going to protest that by buying a half tank.

10:11 a.m.

Erique representing. But not in a good way. I walked to this shop down here to buy bans for breakfast and I could swear I heard this policeman scream “Put your legs up where I can see them!” It was traumatizing, man. Luckily, the way I walk is not very deadly so he didn’t pay much attention.

Those who walk suspiciously like they are planning to assassinate the president with their feet, you better learn how to crawl. Anything to do with legs is strictly prohibited. Even if you’re walklessly seated somewhere in a restaurant, do not foot the bill.

11:45 a.m.

Baz again:

I was tasked with collecting photographs of the drama as it unfolded using my (and since this is live and unedited, I can sneak in a free plug) Huawei Ideos u8150 Android Phone now available from MTN. For more detail, friend me on facebook and get a full review.

These are the dramatic photos of the astounding events that have been unfolding in Kampala today.

Traffic was extremely light on the way to work today. It was as if Christmas. The lack of jams on the way made me think that maybe people actually did park their cars and walk to work. Or maybe it was just because I was too scared to leave home until after ten and that’s why I was driving through empty streets.

In any case, much as I realise the importance of this cause, I am sorry. I’m sorry common man, but today I have half a tank and I’m going to buy my girl dinner at Soho. Food and fuel prices are not too high for me.  I’m rich.  Otherwise, good luck, but don’t protest too much, or we will repress you even further.

12:19 p.m.

Erique here:

I’ve just been talking to Angella from Orange Customer Care and she reports seeing Besigye on TV wearing “swimming glasses”. Don’t ask me what she meant. Buy an Orange SIM card, dial 100 and ask her yourself.

Other reports tell us people in Kasangati, Bwaise and Wandegeya be walking furiously.

Here are some songs to rock to as you walk Kayihura nuts.

  • Run by Snow Patrol
  • Walk This Way by Aerosmith
  • Walk Away by Kelly Clarkson
  • Easier To Run by Linkin Park
  • Walk On by U2
  • Be Worried If Your Baby Learns To Walk by Gangsta Mununuzi

On the internets, some of you (most of you actually) have boring status updates so I’ll pick out the as if nice ones:

Johnnie Ns Papa

“MP Odonga Otto is such a ninja. 2 out of 2 successful walks to work. A true Lumumbist.”

 

Bwesigye Friday Brian

“Entebbe road is the highway that connects the international airport to the city, it is CLOSED!”

 

Someone says this Brian dude is faster than tweets so you can send a friend request if you want to be updated about things before they even happen.

1:00 p.m.

Ernest:

Besigye has been shot in the arm and has been sent to Mulago. This is all the proof we need that the police  is working for the opposition.

Or maybe this is a conspiracy by the people who sell dry rations and emergency food supplies. The prices of regular food commodities have risen, but there has not been an increase in demand for lamps, batteries, powdered milk and canned foods, and all those things people will need when the entire fucking city is up in flames due to mad riots. If this day had gone off peacefully, they would have nothing to gain. So they had to move. It’s a conspiracy by Nido!

1:18 p.m.

Erique:

But where’s Otunnu?

2:32 p.m.

Ernest:

Okay. I think shit officially just got real.  I don’t know why I just got spam email from Club T1 telling me about Easter Weekend bash when shit just officially got real. You guys, we are going to have street riots and they are not going to stop until Besigye supporters have overthrown the government of Museveni. Whether this is a good thing or not depends on how fond you are of the idea of not being able to go to Cineplex for at least a month because the whole of Kampala road is full of rioters. Some of you will think it’s worth the price you pay for FREEEDOM!

Me, I really wanted to watch Rango.

4:07 p.m.

Erique:

When I grow up I want to be Kayihura’s ass so that I itch him whenever he’s talking.

And Sevo should also be walking with us. MPs went to State House on visitation day and gave him only 24 billion shillings as pocket money for swearing in. Poor guy! That only facilitates him up to “I swe”. Now where’s the money for the remaining “ar” going to come from?

5:19 p.m.

Bazanye Kko Nze:

According to political experts I have just spoken to (which means, any random person passing by because during times like these everyone becomes a political expert) we are probably going into a Tunisa situation. Nationwide riots and running street battles and daily teargas for at least the next three weeks, culminating in a new government. In short, kiss your asses goodbye.

The advice, therefore, is that you stock up on dry rations and essential produce so that you can survive now that the cities of this country are too busy being burnt to a crisp to provide you with a livelihood.

You need to get to the shops and buy essential commodities. By which I mean, of course, stock up on…

Kuteesa, Nasasira & Rukutana Resign. Meanwhile At Kuteesa’s House…

By
Mikey Makukuba
-
0
Ugandan Ministers

It’s 9.06am and Foreign Affairs minister Sam Kutesa is seated alone in the living room caressing a bottle of oil, when Government Chief Whip John Nasasira walks in.

Kutesa: Shit! Gwe learn to first knock naawe!

Nasasira: Don’t be so hard on me, man. I’ve come with problems.

Kutesa: What, have they sent you to cane me?

Nasasira: What? Why?

Kutesa: Aren’t you the government chief whip?

Nasasira: Yeah, but they don’t pay me to cane people. They pay me to swindle public funds.

Kutesa: Even me. I wonder why they give us different ministerial titles yet we do the same thing.

Nasasira: Man! That’s just wasting public resources.

Kutesa: Talk on it. Anyway, what are you doing out of office early?

Nasasira: They found out.

Kutesa: No way! Where did you put yours?

Nasasira: I put some in the car and I took some at home to use for cooking.

Kutesa: Dude, you know the oil is unprocessed, right?

Nasasira: Oh. That should explain why…can I use your toilet?

Kutesa: Mwesigwa is still inside.

Nasasira: Who?

Kutesa: Mwesigwa Rukutana. The junior labour minister. You don’t know him?

Nasarira: You let a junior minister use your toilet?

Kutesa: It’s okay. He’s now a senior like us. CHOGM. And resigning. Fame just.

Nasasira: And oil?

Kutesa: No, for him he’s still a two-star swindler.

Nasasira: A two-star swindler at such a young age. Such a focused young man.

Kutesa: I know. And wait when they tie him to the oil deals and he goes to prison.

Nasasira: Whoa! That will give him three stars!

Kutesa: For real. And the big man will just promote him to vice president I think.

OTHER 3-STAR GENERALS

Nasasira: Respect! But man, what now? What’s the next move?

Kutesa: We go to prison, we bribe lakini Geoffrey the prison warden to make it look as if we are suffering, then when we come out, people will cheer for us.

Nasasira: Ha! When Hillary was promised kiboks from northern Uganda here? And you know how those ones hurt. Ye where’s he?

Kutesa: Stupid fool! He’s there in the corner. Fool! I hear he won’t talk because some people at simanyi Urban City are recording us. Gwe Neckman, don’t be stupid. Onek! Wake up, you fool! You said the people spying are from where?

Onek: ULK. Go to www.urbanlegendkampala.com right now and see if you think am lying.

Kutesa: Hehehehe I don’t know how this fool even qualified to receive a piece of CHOGM money. I think he’s the one who made them catch us even.

Onek: But why do you keep hating on a fellow swindler like that? We’re blood brothers, man. It’s not cool.

Nasasira: Gwe! I think the fool is telling the truth. Come and see…

Kutesa: Shit! And it’s live! First say something and I see?

Nasasira: Testing oil one two, testing oil one two…

Kutesa: SHIT!!!

The Walk To Work: Arrested For Walking Under The Influence Of Legs

By
admin
-
0
Besigye Arrest

Yesterday was walk to work day.
For those who still don’t know what that was all about, it means girls were supposed to walk to work naked and boys were just supposed to buy popcorn and sit by the roadside while updating their Facebook status messages with LOLs, OMGs and mssstttcchhews, where appropriate.
Just joking. It was just a public holiday for government to celebrate its annual arrest of Kizza Besigye. It happens once every year.
Okay okay. I’ve been asked to be serious. On this day, which was yesterday, Ugandans planned to walk to work (duh!) in protest of the high prices of everything which are leading to a high cost of living and consequently, a high cost of partying.
And opposition likes partying. Increase fuel costs, sugar, chips, do whatever you want with the economy but don’t increase the cost of entering a disco. They are called opposition parties for a reason. Which is what incensed Kizza Besigye.
However, according to the law, no one was supposed to walk. They dare see any two legs working together, they arrest.
If a policeman saw you walking, you had only five options:
1. Stop immediately and wait for him to look the other side
2. Sneak to work
3. Start hopping on one leg to your destination
4. Use a foolscap to cover your legs so that it looks like you’re floating to work
5. Send your legs ahead of you quickly before he sees them
Those without legs had an advantage.
Me? I walked. It was within the office but still. I even extended my walk to after-work hours. I walked to the pc , I walked to the TV, I walked to where my food was on the table, I walked away, I walked to the toilet to do toiletty things…I walked.
Did you walk?

Kenzo’s cougar expecting

By
admin
-
0
Eddy Kenzo

Singer Edrisa Kenzo has made history as the first musician in Uganda to impregnate a sugar mummy. Mid last year we revealed that Singer Eddie Kenzo of the Stamina fame was dating Rwandese sugar mum only identified as Halimah and was a permanent occupant in her Toyota Harrier before he bought his Ipsam. Now, word reaching us has it that the singer and the city cougar are expecting their first baby early this year.

Our paps reveal that Halimah is four months pregnant with the singer’s tot. Halima has been keeping her bulging tummy out of the public eye until last Monday when our paps spotted her in Makindye going for antenatal at St Luke Makindye. Close friends reveal that Halima has been desperate for a kid ever since she separated with one UK based dude identified as Muhammad God.

Uganda Purchases Fighter Jets: Defense Ministry Asked Not to Discuss Matter

By
Mikey Makukuba
-
0

President Museveni revealed during a caucus meeting that Uganda had used up to sh1 trillion for military hardware to an unknown country. However, when officials of ministry of defence where asked to shed more light on the matter, they informed parliament they had been instructed not to discuss anything concerning the topic in particular.

It is not clear whether government has already made the payments although MPs yesterday said Mr Museveni announced that deposits amounting to above Shs1 trillion had already been made. The MPs also revealed that the President made mention of the money being drawn from the Ministry of Defence budget. The BoU communication director, Mr Eriot Mweya, said he is yet to cross-check the details of the transaction and whether the central bank knew about the deal.

Appearing before the Parliamentary Accounts Committee, the Permanent Secretary, Ms Rosette Byengoma, said she “had been ordered” not to reveal or discuss anything to do with the transaction. She was appearing before the committee with some of her staff and army officers to answer audit queries. “I am under instructions not to talk about that particular procurement,” Ms Byengoma said, when asked by committee chair Nandala Mafabi, to shed light.

Making no headway, Mr Mafabi, said: “Okay we leave it at that.” The government has taken $740 million (about Shs1.7 trillion) from Bank of Uganda (BoU) to buy fighter jets and other military hardware from an unknown country.

Meanwhile, MPs yesterday began investigations into a payment of Shs253m by the Ministry of Defence to a Cyprus firm, M/s Oracle Systems Ltd, without a contract. The deal, part of a wider Shs12b project to computerise the payroll system in order to erase ghost soldiers, was questioned by the Auditor General.

The AG wondered why the money was paid to the firm that reportedly supplied spare parts yet no contract was signed between the parties. “Before commissioning the project, the Ministry of Defence paid an additional amount of Shs253m to the company to cater for spare parts needed for commissioning of the system,” the report reads in part. It adds: “The payment was irregular because there was no contract and it is not certain whether the firm will eventually win the contract.”

Ms Byengoma, however, told the MPs to pardon her for the payment although the contract was still before the Solicitor General. The MPs, who wondered how she would recover the money in case the SG did not endorse the deal, gave her up to Friday 1 to explain her payments and attach all the documentation so that the AG does a specific audit into the transaction.

“Since they were the installers of the project, we didn’t want to bring in a third party into our systems because we have classified information,” Ms Byengoma said. “We paid them for spare parts because we knew at some point the system would break down and I didn’t have to wait until it shuts down.” Ms Byengoma yesterday told the MPs that the system, though dogged with such queries, had been successful because there are no more ghost soldiers on the payroll.

Chickens Call Truce With Humans

By
Mikey Makukuba
-
0
Chickens Call Truce

After thousands of years of a longstanding battle that has led to bloodshed accruing to the loss of countless chicken lives, the African chicken community has finally made a public outcry ahead of the Easter celebrations and sent its world leaders to negotiate some kind of peace deal with human beings.

At press time it was rumoured that Egypt and Libya’s chicken representatives, Hensni Mubacock and Mucockmar Gaddchickfi were in closed door meetings with undisclosed human counterparts and negotiations were already underway in the Switzerland branch of Kentucky Fried Chicken. Uganda was yet to decide who to send between FDC chickens and UPC chickens.

The chairman of the NRM chickens said they were beefing with the chicken-eating human population for using their cutlery superiority unfairly against the chickens.

Mpenkoni: Chairman of NRM chickens

“Cockle Doo Dee Doo,” said the chairman. “We are not sending any representatives for negotiation. We were but the humans sent their flying kitchen knives and chicken grills ahead of the first meeting in Libya. What’s that supposed to mean? We want to talk and already you want to eat us. I hear there’s even a black American human who came with cabbage, onions and kachumbali in his left coat pocket.”

The NRM chickens pledged to run away and send aggressive public statements if the humans didn’t immediately end their greed for chicken.

Who Wants To Be A Millionaire: Justus of The Peas

By
Sleek
-
0

Alan “Tailored Shoots” Kasujja, the Host of this show, steps to the screen like Don Cornelius, who people of our age group should know is the host of Soul Train.
It’s Who Wants To Be A Millionaire. Lets recap this here.

The thing is I never liked any of my teachers. Ever. So when the contestant who comes on, Moses from Iganga, shows up, I can’t root for this guy.
Cos he looks like a teacher. I mean, he’s not, but he has the morphology of teachers, the facial construction. There is someone somewhere who resembles him who canes little kids. I’m just saying. It’s not his fault, but I want him to fail.

And baby class deals him a roundhouse to the face: he has to call up 50-50 for the very first question. He wasn’t sure what “lean” means.
I had a teacher who liked to say “bend sideways”. I hahad.

Moses looks like he is drawing the answer from the depths of his duodenum. The look on his face says he’s clenching his bums to squeeze the answers up to his head. He was on his final lifeline calling his buddy Christopher, who sounded as befuddled and distressed as clenchy as him, when asked what the place where the pilots be is called: Is it a cabin, a starboard, a foreclosure or a thingy…what’s that word again? A nankani.

We returned from commercials for Lord Allan Kasugar to deliver the verdict. Moses is fired. Five hundred thou and go and find an aeroplane and look at it and if you see a cabin on that mofo come back and we’ll add you more.

The Second victim was one Justus who looks like Tweetybird in a leather jacket. It’s not a physical resemblene. It’s metaphorical one. I swear Alan needs to get guests who don’t look like they can fit in his pocket.
One of the questions is: In which of these can a person swim? Cup basin pool or bottle. Justus can probably swim in an Alan-sized bbafu…

He gets to 500,000 with the blasphemous assertion that life on earth is powered by the sun. We all know life is powered by LOVE. Love is what makes the world go round!
Bitch!
Well, that’s what you get for spewing such: you get struck by craziness. The contestant loses his mind and after calling a useless friend to find out how the similie “as like as” ends and, being told zilch, he guesses that the answer is C: Sisters, and then he asks Alan if he is sisters. No, that’s not a typo. He looks up at Alan and asks, “Are you sisters?”

For the record the answer is No. Alan Kasujja is NOT sisters.

We cut to a commercial during which, I presume, the studio medic arrives to administer antipsychotics.

Justus went back to his motorbike with 500k and who’s up next? A bartender. Shouts out to Normzo, Jny23 and… HOLY SHIT! Is this guy going to actually be the first person to go home with NATHING after he begins to guess Mason as the name of a person who makes clothes? Well, Don Kasujjius eggs him to try a 50-50 and, with the term “Mason” out of the way, he stumbles and accidentally falls on the right answer. Phewks.

He phones a friend when asked which of a list of four objects, only one of which is an insect, is the correct answer to the question “which of these is an insect with four wings?” If this guy makes more that 500k, Justus and Moses should find him in the corner and mug him.
Meanwhile, the guy he called was cut off just as he was saying it was Kettle, so Noah uses the audience to get the answer right and then grins with confidence he has finally achieved and tells us that it’s a cocktail and not a “ponytail” or a “foxtail” or a “Najjera prostitute” which is a drink.

Noah wears a “don’t patronise me” look on his face when he gets correct answers, as if he has completely forgotten how abysmally bollocks his performance has been so far.
Which of these is the larges classification of living things? Kingdom? Phylum, Family or Genus? And Noah decides that he can’t guess whether the cat family is bigger than the animal kingdom, or the genus lepidae is smaller… okay, I’m just showing off now. He calls it quits and takes his 1.5m which I hope Justus and Moses are waiting in a dark alley outsides.

The Fakeness of Nkozi People

By
admin
-
0
Nkozi People

But those Nkozi people are really fake. I’d say *stupid if I didn’t intend to go back this Saturday. There’s absolutely no excuse for partying with people that one has declared stupid because, excuse me, You become exactly as dimwitted as you think they are when you pack your overnight bag the second time in as many weeks and run back to party with them.  I’m not itching to be put on the spot by my ego, so we’ll stick with fake.

For months on end, they got on roof tops and screamed, wailed, beat gongs, even yoddled about “The biggest masquerade party ever to go down ever ever” and then the day came and they couldn’t even be bothered to dress right. What were they trying to do? Make all people from Kampala seem like absolutely square and embarrassingly over eager children? I mean, we get that you’re too cool for the constraints of fashion, too awesome to stick with the theme, but a line has to be drawn someplace. Doesn’t it?

You. You reading this. Doesn’t the word masquerade put you in mind of an alluring little nymph straddling the bar between sexy and utterly ridiculous? Or is it just me and my misguided imagination?  I saw only about six girls who bothered to acquire fancy getups for the party. Four of them are here:

One of them even wore what looked like a flower girl’s dress.

And the other one was me. Thus the tirade.

However, whatever bitterness that was born of their lack of masquerade dress-sense (jeans? Jeans? Outrage!)  was quickly and efficiently mellowed by the delightfully cheap liquor and Dj Kim’s bombastic ability to rip perfectly ordinary music from his ka computer and hurl it at the dancefloor. Dance-grass. Dance area. That music had rippling muscles. Or maybe the booze had muscles. Or maybe that is just how Masaka does, mehn.

Because this is supposed to be some sort of account of the things that went down at that party and not a rant as a direct result of the author’s five minutes of grave embarrassment on finding that her brave choice of haute couture had been wasted, here goes:

  • Everybody was feeling ultra generous that day. Prudishness was left at the entrance. There was even one chick wearing bums. Yep. Just bums. Ok, she had on a little black blouse and bums. I admired that girl because she had guts (and focus).
  • People climbed trees. There is a certain tree, smack in the middle of the “Gardens”, where the party was being held. It is a very climbable tree. It was thus climbed by a whole lot of people. Why? who knows?
  • There were a couple of kleptomaniac djinns in attendance (because how else can one explain the loss of a pair of very large earrings and an even larger hair ribbon? (By leaping and dancing like one’s legs have been injected with demon-steroids, that’s how)) Apparently Nkozi people are too kewl to steal, so yea. Djinns.
  • Never before in the history of partying (records of which can, it turns out, be actually found by those who know where to look) has there been so much bending over. There were approximately ten girls being bent over per minute, all night. At some point this one girl’s feminazi got the better of her and she started bending guys over. Watching her was fun.  (A little bit of context. Bending over in this case refers to that dance where a girl stands in front of a boy, bends deeply at the waist and wriggles vigorously. Dynamically. Robustly.  It is by far the most ridiculous thing to come out of Jamaica since Elephant man, but people are absolutely in love with it. )
  • Other stuff happened, but for some reason, they were all blurred. That’s right. They all happened blurrily. There was nothing wrong with Miss Kyrte’s eyes. Stuff just became malicious and started being out of focus, so she also stopped trying to keep track.

New Lord Mayor Promises To Take Good Photographs And Be There Just

By
Sleek
-
0
Lukwago Erias

Erias Lukwago, winner of the recently concluded Kampala city mayoral elections has pledged to diligently take nice photographs, wear clean suits, shake hands properly, eat his meals on time and regularly check his newly elected watch to see how much time is left to get off work and go to Steakout during his very busy 5 year term in office.

The pledge comes in light of the new administrative structure which reduces the new mayor to a largely ceremonial political head of the capital just and transfers the pragmatic stewardship of Kampala to the hands of an Executive Director who will be directly appointed by the Man In A Hat Who Keeps Calling People’s Phones Up To Now. (Man!)

In a joint statement that included his newly appointed shoes and boxers, Mr. Erias Elyas Werewolf Lukwigz Lukwamanagangsta Lukwago said that he will not disappoint his people. “I will carry out my duties of looking good and being just there just for just with one heart like this,” he said.

Mr. Elyas Lupimping was also quick to remind his voters that he was sure he still had a purpose in life and that they didn’t celebrate his victory wildly for nothing. “I am still your man and I will continue making noise for the ruling party until my cries are almost heard.”

1...454647...58Page 46 of 58

Must Read

POPULAR CATEGORIES

- Advertisement -

Aenean mollis odio augue, sit amet sollicitudin augue ullamcorper eget. Praesent tincidunt et neque congue efficitur.

Subscribe

To get email updates from Today News.

© Newspaper WordPress Theme by TagDiv