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91.3FM’s Flavia joins Channel O

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Capital FM presenter Flavia Tumusiime is among a new bunch of Channel O VJ’s whose brief is to give viewers a peek at the different cultures and spaces within Africa. They will also be required to show how African music and musicians are reshaping the entertainment arena and standing up for recognition. The VJs will be going behind-the-scenes and giving viewers a wider picture of what goes on in the music and entertainment world that is rapidly growing in Africa as well as internationally. Viewers can look forward to coverage of events like countries’ Independence Day celebrations, interviews of who’s who of the African entertainment circuit , red carpet events and vox-pops of the man/ woman on the street about the fast-growing African musical talent.

Flavia, a 23-year old university graduate is also the current host of the Guinness Football Challenge. “My passion is in television, it’s where I feel my best,” says Flavia who cut her screen teeth as a presenter on WBS TV’s Teens Club. Whereas her most of her contemporaries at the time disappeared into the sunset, Flavia went on to try her hand at radio and hosts the weekday mid-morning show from 10am to 3pm on 91.3 Capital FM. She bounced back on TV as a replacement for Karitas Karisimbi on the lifestyle show K-Files (WBS TV, Wednesdays 8.30pm) when the show’s host took maternity leave. Flavia’s other new Channel O peers are Nigeria’s Edun ‘Denrele’ Olufemi (28)- host of Glo Naija Sings (28), Tanzania’s Jokate Mwegelo- a model and film actress, Kenya’s Joey Muthengi (26)- a radio presenter and TV actress, Ghana’s Stefen ‘J.Town’ Menson (27)- a recording artist and South Africa’s Maya Wegerif (19)- an intern at Channel O.

Channel O Africa’s [Ugandan-born] Manager, Leslie ‘Lee’ Kasumba says choosing this young talent will see Channel O further embracing the music loving population within the continent. “Each one of these VJ’s is awesome in their own right. Not only do they have a fundamental love for their country and music from their countries too. They also have a love for what is happening around them and can see African Urban music in the global space, which is exactly what Channel O Africa is about. They are passionate, hardworking individuals and as a team, they will take Channel O Africa to new levels,” says Kasumba.

Channel O launched as a 24-hour music outlet in 1997 but has of late lost some of its shine to competitors like MTV base and regional copycats like EATV and Sound City that mostly mostly East African and Nigerian hits respectively. It had thinned out presenter-format shows preferring to play [country and genre-specific] music back-to-back. The channel’s VJ announcement could be a desperate attempt at wooing back continental viewers who had shunned it for favouring music video works from one country.

Qwela, Ndere for 2012 Zanzibar Fest

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Qwela and Ndere Troupe will fly Uganda’s cultural flag at the 2012 Sauti za Busara East African Music festival in Zanzibar. The music showcase is East Africa’s premier cultural event and is also a well-patronised cultural tourism activity. Next year’s event will be the ninth and takes place from February 8-12, 2012 in Stone Town, the idyllic island’s crown tourism jewel.

Other artistes that will grace the festival include Super Mazembe (DRC / Kenya) Ally Kiba (Tanzania) Nneka (Nigeria)  Tumi & The Volume (South Africa)  Ary Morais (Cape Verde)  Companhia Nacional de Canto e Danca (Mozambique)  and EJ von Lyrik (South Africa). Organisers require artistes to perform 100% live and the festival attracts 400 musicians from 40 groups. Half of the festival bill is from Tanzania while artistes from the rest of Africa and beyond comprise the other half. The musicians -established and upcoming- are drawn from multiple genres that include urban and rural, acoustic and electric.

The opening night of the festival extravaganza kicks off with a carnival street parade snaking through Zanzibar’s historic narrow streets ending at the principal venue at the Old Fort. It comprises a “beni” brass band, ngoma drummers, mwanandege umbrella women, stilt-walkers, capoeira dancers and acrobats. The main event then kicks off from 5pm till 1am each day for five straight days!

The island also buzzes with a range of parallel fringe events aptly called Busara Xtra festival also boasts a parallel “fringe” programme that includes screenings of music-themed African films like documentaries, music clips, videos and live concert footage. “Swahili Encounters” offers visiting artistes to collaborate with local musicians to re-interpret Swahili songs and present them on the main stage. Artistes can also benefit from the networking opportunities during the “Movers & Shakers” segment, which offers a daily networking forum for local and visiting arts professionals. There are also seminars and training workshops aimed at building skills for artists, managers, music journalists, filmmakers, sound and lighting technicians from the East Africa region coupled with fashion shows, dhow races, open-mic sessions, after-parties and open rehearsals of Zanzibar’s oldest taarab orchestras all arranged by the community. Local food and drinks, music, jewellery, clothing and handicrafts are close by in the festival marketplace.

“Festivals invigorate young people’s interest in local culture, give opportunities for artists and music professionals to meet and learn from each other, keep traditions alive, create employment for local people and promote Zanzibar as a model for responsible tourism – that honours and respects local culture,” says Festival Director, Yusuf Mahmoud, Festival Director. You cans sure take his word for it on this one.

Credit: MOSES SERUGO

Valerie Kimani: Soundtrack Of My Life

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Valerie Kimani was the winner of the inaugural Tusker Project Fame vocal talent search competition in 2006. The Kenyan Afro-fusion songbird was in town for the Maurice Kirya Live in Kampala concert on Friday September 2, 2011.

MY WEDDING SONG
I was thinking about that the other day. I hope I remember it. Gosh, which one was it? I can’t remember. Wait! It is a danceable (snaps her fingers while humming along to the track). Gosh! It will come to me then I’ll tell you.

MY FAVOURITE SONG TO SING AS A CHILD
“Redeemer”; Nicole C. Mullen
I used to sing it everywhere I went. Everyone thought I had written it. No wonder it was a hit song. It had t do with the place I was in. I had just discovered that I could sing. It was my first experience of performing a song.

SONG THAT MAKES ME CRY
“Too Much Heaven”; The Bee Gees.
I don’t know if it is the harmonies or the arrangement but that song is crazy. I like what it talks about which is you can’t get too much of a good thing.

MY PARENTS’ FAVOURITE SONG
MUM; “Fast Car” & “Baby Can I Hold You Tonight”; Tracy Chapman
My mother is a very deep person and Tracy Chapman lyrics have substance and are very and issue-oriented. I have this Best of Tracy Chapman CD, which she has literally stolen. She (mum) is a deep and thoughtful person, which explains why she loves country music.

DAD; “Sirudi Tena”; Valerie Kimani
My dad loves rhumba and Benga songs. He loves to dance and always sings along when this music is playing. No wonder he loves this song (off her debut album, Baisikeli).

DOWN-IN-THE-DUMPS SONG
“Smile”; Kirk Franklin
I go Christian and always turn to God like everyone else in such situations because in those moments I want hope, positivity… The chorus says something about “almost giving up” because there have been points in my life when I almost gave up on music and so many things. The song tells us tat there is a power inside each of us. I also like Bee Gees’ “You Should Be Dancing”. I am such a melancholic person and sometimes I need the opposite of what I am like that disco song.

MY FAVOURITE ROMANTIC MUSIC
“Come Away With Me”; Norah Jones
That song is so beautiful for me. It just captures the romance… “come away with me in the night”… I like that she (Norah Jones) is a songwriter. I like that she doesn’t follow any type of rules. I also like Anita Baker. She is very unique, she doesn’t try too hard and her music is timeless.

MY FAVOURITE KENYAN POP SONG
“Kare”; P-Unit
I am not really a pop person but the beat on this song is so catchy, just off the hook, the kind that brings out the side of me that screams at a concert. I also like Juliani. He very a very committed musician and takes his life seriously. And he makes his music work because many times as musicians we are very sentimental yet at the end of the day we have to eat. I also like the fact that he’s been able to make gospel music palatable.

MY FAVOURITE WORLD/ ETHNO MUSIC
That will have to be anything from Richard Bona and a South African artiste called Simphiwe Dana. I like depth and I am able to connect with these two artistes because you can tell that their music is authentic.

The Illicit Side to ARVs

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e.tv Africa’s Scandal! (Monday to Thursday 8.30pm) continues to offer telenovela-phobes reasons to believe in television that entertains, educates and informs. One of the current storylines is quite a hair-raiser. An HIV infected mother is being bullied into selling her ARVs to drug addictswho then powder the pills into a concoction called “whoonga”. Now that is so low we guys, notorious for for re-exporting the life extending drugs and swindling Global Fund monies are yet to sink to. The mother is now being being blackmailed with the loss of her baby if her ARV supply to the drug dealers stops. The plot does not get any worse than “whoonga” addicts infecting themselves with HIV in order to make it on the list of people receiving freebie ARVs. The reprieve is that the dedicated journos at the now rag-turned serious Scandal! are sleuthing the issue Hopefully, the bad guys will get their due, perhaps a jail term with the keys thrown in the sea.

Illegal immigration is also the focus in another Scandal! subplot. As Africa’s biggest economy, South Africa continues to inadvertently attract illegals who have sadly been on the receiving end of neo-apartheid vices like the infamous xenophobic attacks. You have to hand it to the villainious Daniel Nyati (played by Generation’s Archie Moroka) for fishing an opportunity to advance his own interests a la offering pro bono legal counsel to desperate illegals. His team of paralegals are final year university law students wishing to improve their GPAs. But being the shrewd fellow he is, Nyati has offered the illegals a quid pro quo. In exchange for the legal counsel, they have to offer their labour for a building project he says will provide a subsidised roof over their heads. Not strange from a honey-tongued man that believes decent accommodation is a basic human right.

Uganda Comes Up Short at Umoja Festival

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Uganda came up short at its Umoja Cultural Flying Carpet debut that took place at the National Theatre at the end of September. The initiative requires artistes to create a hybrid performance across multiple genres including but not restricted to music, dance, circus and acrobatics.

The Ugandan troupe exhibited a glaring failure to comprehend the concept brief there by treating patrons to a lacklustre showcase of stuff that would be better suited to rushed creative dance segments at a National Primary Schools Festival.

The two hulking male dancers were as stiff as a rod and little wonder one was on the receiving end of audience vitriol that kept screaming Moses Golola every time he stepped up to do a solo. Their turns were stiff, their bodies exhibited an inability to dance beyond canoodling with greased up video vixens in bubble gum pop music videos. I have seen those two in a couple of low-grade music videos and perhaps they were recruited for the Umoja initiative as bare-chested eye candy. And just what was that trumpeter thinking in showing us he had two left feet? The weak dance execution which struggled to infuse indigenous dance with Euro-centric contemporary dance was probably the biggest indictment on Jonas Byaruhanga, until then one of the most decorated dancers on the Ugandan scene today. With his dance company a shadow of its former self, Byaruhanga’s genius is suffering diminishing marginal returns.

Word from the camp is that Uganda’s stage woes stemmed from a lack of adequate practice, a rigid recruitment drive of available dancers and not necessarily the most talented and a strict adherence to the 16-26 year-old age limit. At least we were honest on the latter but apart from being the hosts, the chaos on stage was not worth exporting despite the plaudit-worthy multi-talented lad that juggled voice and instrument playing.

It was the Kenyans that brought something sublime that was reminiscent of the Aladdin tale from “1001 Nights”. There was coherence to their choreography delivered by a troupe of extremely talented performers. They danced in unison and on point, jumped through hoops, did dizzying juggling and delightful acrobatic displays of towering human pyramids. No wonder Tusker Project Fame’s chief choreographer Coach Edu wore a proud grin on his face. They went one better by including a deaf girl amongst the bevy of dancing girls and that guy with shades that plucked the lead guitar strings is actually blind. Such genius!

Depending on how you saw it, Ethiopia either drew you in or put you off by way of circus-themed malleability. There was this girl that twisted and wriggled like she had a rubbery spine. I can bet my inflation-prone Ugandan shillings that she could get her face and posterior face the same side if she wished to. A circus display is after all about making the audience gasp with endless ooohs and aaahs and that well sure flowed for the Ethiopians who by the way are real eye-candy.

The Norwegians were in it for a fun ride to Africa. Their government was paying the piper after all (air tickets, accommodation, theatre rental, et al). I found most of their performance derivative; a bit of American jazz here, a violinist that played something similar to something The Corrs played and a male vocalist that did a poor job at improvising vocally. Their saving grace was the troupe of female dancers thanks to their versatile choreography that weaved Hip-Hop popping, locking and ballet-inspired contemporary routines, all delivered with crisp execution and varied costume changes. Anyone that pretends to do contemporary dance locally should aspire to grasp their firm dance technique.

The Tanzanians were in the same “weak tea” league of the Ugandans but rescued themselves by displaying an impressive array of fabulous musical instruments. The Zeze kora-like harp TID once sang about, the quanoun- a stringed instrument played horizontally on one’s lap and the oud- a miniaturised sort of guitar, all played with hypnotic skill.

That this was Uganda’s debut at hosting the festival is no excuse for not grasping a concept of such international acclaim. The clichéd fireworks gimmickry at the September 30, 2011 Ndere Centre amounted to a little more than window dressing. I have seen better dancers and better narrators than that phony-accented girl that extolled Uganda’s attributes. There is no reason to export mediocrity with a venture that enjoys quite a hefty donor-funded purse.

Why Uganda Cranes Lost: This Time It Had Nothing To Do With Lil Wayne

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Uganda Cranes Stars

Here’s another informed soccer analysis from our expert soccer critic who has reviewed many international matches in his mind.

I know Kenyans are now like, “Habari nini habari ya habari habari”, which, for the silly population that still doesn’t know Swahili in 2011, means “Heheheeee Are they still talking? Stupid Ugandans.”

But there’s something you should know about Ugandans. We don’t do anything without a motive. We don’t eat, sleep or even breathe without just cause. And we certainly do not fail to win without reason.

And this is how we celebrate our losses

I’ll give you 10 solid reasons why we failed to win:

  • The starving women and children in Africa
  • The war in Libya
  • Obama’s fear of failure to get reelected
  • The sudden death of Steve Jobs
  • The country’s messed up judicial system
  • The continued presence of American troops in Iraq
  • The earthquakes in Asia
  • The oil in western Uganda
  • Eminem and Dr. Dre

All of these reasons are pretty simple and self-explanatory. Kenya, you see how honest we are? We don’t hide behind weird and senseless excuses like “Our players just didn’t have the skill”, sijui “We were under intense pressure”, simanyi “You guys have good players”… I know. I was equally shocked when I heard that last one.

Anywhen, Kenya, forget what you saw on Saturday. Those were not our players. They were just some wicked aliens from outer space who had come to destroy the planet under the guise of a Ugandan football team.

But only Obua noticed. And ULK, of course. Power to the ninjas!

10 other areas where we beat Kenya:

 

  • We have better potholes
  • Our government is more corrupt
  • Our president has stayed on for longer
  • We have more power blackouts
  • We know how to get high and call in sick and pregnant on Monday
  • Our broken English is produced on a larger scale
  • Agnes Nandutu
  • When the police is chasing us, we run faster
  • Our currency makes us bigger spenders. Therefore, we are rich
  • Our watches are imported from international artistes who visit Uganda

Now talk again.

Muti, Hypnosis and Scandalous TV

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Muti is South African parlance for witchcraft. I hate that it is now a principal storyline in the high production values TV series Scandal! (e.tv Africa, Monday to Thursday 8.30pm). But I liked the subtle way in which the issue of the criminality in accusing someone of using practising witchcraft was written into the story. I still hate that it is taking attention away from a more pressing matter, the one about a gagged journalist; after-effects of newsroom politics in which a serious but loss making newspaper (The Voice) gets “killed” while a sensational rag (Scandal!) is nourished.

You have to hand it to the sidelined Jacques’ ingenuity in how he goes about spiting his dominatrix boss Donna (she refused to grant him a column on the ongoing rugby World Cup) in the revamped Scandal!. He shoots a video revealing a taped mouth and bound hands. A tickertape message runs across the screen highlighting his plight. Boss lady summons him and luckily for him, his immediate editorial supervisors have his back.

Fact is our own The Hostel could garnish those lame limes recited by its avalanche of talking blonde heads with a couple of issue-driven storylines. There was more laying down the law on Rhythm City (e.tv Africa weekdays 7.30pm, omnibus Saturday 10.30am). Toyi-toyi is SA vernacular for protesting, demonstrating, et al and trust the old wives club to wield banners to protest the Kilowatt hangout’s “tight T-shirt” night. With their husbands emptying their wallets at the bosoms of the ravishing bar lady Niki, a protest seemed very much in order, well until Suffo reminded the posse of chanting women to get a permit first. And here we were thinking Kayihura’s boys were overstepping what should be a constitutional right!

Would the more scientifically accepted hypnosis qualify as muti? There was relief in the Le Reoux household on Isidingo (ITV weekdays 7.30pm, omnibuses Saturday 11pm & Sunday 10am) when Marlien, the family matriarch, came out of her mute self to say a couple of coherent sentences. The noose is tightening around resident femme fatal Cherel [de Villiers Haines Le Roux]’s neck, that’s if daughter Sophia can beat her conniving step-mom to finding the suicide note her mother Marlien wrote (that she hid it in a Bible may explain her protracted healing).

In other Isidingo news, the hostage crisis at top cop Priyah’s station rekindled the flame with ex (and father to her child Hiranya) Frank. Hubby Rajesh (the iron clad boss at On TV!) had better eat his carrots if he still cannot read the divorce writing on the wall. There may be a good moral to Rajesh/Priyah being a two-income household but that may not make up for the romantic inconvenience that is their marriage of convenience.

Maurice Kirya: Soundtrack Of My Life

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Maurice Kirya

The syrupy vocalist/ acoustic guitarist hosts his fans to a self-sponsored concert on Friday September 2, 2011 at the Kampala Serena Hotel to introduce his new self-styled genre Mwooyo having toured 19 countries with 37 concerts. The 2010 RFI World Discoveries Award winner says his signature The Maurice Kirya Experience returns next year as a festival that will aid artistes in retailing their merchandise too.

MY WEDDING SONG
“So High”, John Legend
I like it because he paints the idea of love as heavenly. It is like he was picturing making love as a heavenly something-something. I do not know what it is about the song but I like it probably because he speaks of a very beautiful love situation.

MY FAVOURITE SONG TO SING AS A KID
“Away In A Manger”, Christmas Carol
That is the one song I consciously remember. My sister used to sing it to me as a baby and later on she was shocked to hear me sing it.

SONG THAT MAKES ME CRY
I haven’t cried since eight years old. I don’t know which song would make me cry. And I am serious I am not lying.

MY PARENTS’ FAVOURITE SONG
Mum; “My Boy Lollipop”.
She liked it because it’s a chatty, funny love song and kid-ish in a way. My mum has a young spirit. She loves anything that is in a happy mood, positive and lively. She would dance around, make all sorts of moves that would make us laugh.

Dad; “Bolingo ya Telephonia”
He kept singing it yet he is not that talented in singing. My dad can’t sing. My singing genes are from my late grandfather from my mum’s side. Dad loved that song! He never knew the lyrics. He would sing the title and do da-di-da-da-di-di-do-da for the rest of the song. And we would ask, “why don’t you take time and learn the lyrics to your favourite song?” Until today, he still sings the song and can’t get the lyrics right.

MY FAVOURITE ROMANTIC MUSIC
“Who Knows”; Musique Soul Child
It is an amazing song I just cannot stop playing lately. It talks about just letting go, letting your hair down and embracing love. “Who knows where this night might lead us, who knows what we might discover”, he sings.

FAVOURITE KIDANDALI SONG
“Kawonaawo”; Grace Nakimera
I thought that was a very good jam. Usually kidandali is filled with a million instruments going on. But she kept it simple with a bass, drum, a few keys and little droplets of stuff here and there and there. And you could hear her lyrics, no wonder she was that big.

FAVOURITE ETHNO/ WORLD MUSIC
Lokua Kanza
He is a favourite long time friend. I like that he can do what I do and make me look silly. Here at home I like Kaz Kasozi. Lately he has been telling me that I inspire him and I keep telling him, “Oh shut-up. I am trying to beat you and be like you.” Every time we meet we are debating who inspires who the most.

Uganda Cranes vs Kenya Chaps. We Go (Us, Not Kenya)

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Uganda Cranes Match

Are you a patriotic Ugandan? No, I don’t mean are you a registered voter, prompt taxpayer and active participant in issues of local government. I mean patriotic as in did you support Sharon O?
That’s all we need from you really. Taxes kitu gani?

We are going to need you and all the gusts of onion-beer-pork breath that can billow out of your fat flabby cheeks this weekend when we, as a nation, take on our foes in a death match at The Namboole Colliseum.

Because we can’t all get onto the pitch, we have selected a team of representatives, using a method that is so efficient, we ought to chuck elections and chose parliamentarians the same way. The Cranes are the best players in the country. Meanwhile the Ugandan parliament is just the best office-sleepers and raise-self-voters in the country.

The Kenyans have also brought theirs: a team known as The Harambee Stars. Harambee is the name of the god of Kenya. The Harambee Stars consists of Kwambox, Madd Traxx, Nazizi, Amani, Binyavanga Wainaina, Eric Wainaina, Wahome Mutahi and Ian Mbugua because these are the only Kenyans we consider competition. Everyone else, turn around and watch us kick your ass.

We intend to defeat the Kenyans both in actual football and in shouting obscene chants from the stadium pews. Those who don’t do obscene chants, we understand. You will find a section reserved for you to shout your non-obscene PC chants. It’s okay. We are one Uganda.Some of you are not going to be paying any attention at all to this game.

You may be watching Nava on Login or you will be fixing your braids or will be at Owino buying books or you will be burgling the homes left empty by those who have gone to the stadium. We understand. Uganda has a huge population and not all of you can fit in Namboole. All we ask is that even in the midst of your diverse activities you remember to say the magic words “We go we go” at least four times during the hours of the match.
And if you are David Obua, keep your shirt where it’s supposed to be.

A Message From The President | Part III

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Letter from the President

The Nation Media Group called me again and appointed me president of Uganda. They called me for an interview at NTV as usual but this time I was to have it under a mango tree near the parking lot the other side because the studio was out of operation.

Apparently, UMEME’s Head of Disconnecting was dozing from exhaustion during a 9 o’clock news bulletin when Agnes Nandutu over shouted and startled him awake. So he stormed into NTV and confiscated some of the studio’s sockets and wires.

My boda guy had asked for a day off because of a broken kneecap caused by eating an undercooked sausage, so I walked to interview.

I was met by some chick.

SOME CHICK: Welcome, President Mununuzi.

PRESIDENT MUNUNUZI: Where’s Maurice Mugisha?

SOME CHICK: He went to buy cassava.

PRESIDENT MUNUNUZI: What did he tell you to call me before he left?

SOME CHICK: President M.

PRESIDENT MUNUNUZI: So why don’t you obey his orders? You should respect him. He eats cassava.

SOME CHICK: Yes sir. Now my question today is…

PRESIDENT M: Will it make me avoid tackling real issues of national importance?

SOME CHICK: It’s about oil.

PRESIDENT M: No. That’s a real issue.

SOME CHICK: It’s about the former vice president.

PRESIDENT M: Good. Ask.

SOME CHICK: Why was he given such a harsh punishment and humiliated like that yet he is your former number two guy and there are bigger and apparently untouchable crooks in the government?

PRESIDENT M: That’s the question?

SOME CHICK: Yes sir.

PRESIDENT M: All of it?

SOME CHICK: Yes.

PRESIDENT M: Eh!

SOME CHICK: The answer, President M.

PRESIDENT M: He refused to change his name to Gilbert Boo.

SOME CHICK: What?

PRESIDENT M: Gilbert Boo. You can’t be such a respected dignitary yet you have “Kenya” in your name during such a sensitive football time when you’re supposed to be on your country’s side. That is treason.

PRESIDENT M: I even gave him an option of Gilbert Buuganda and Gilbert Bucranes but he was adamant. He just kept saying, “Me am mahogany, me am mahogany”.

SOME CHICK: You took him to court, sent him to prison, stripped him of his parliamentary seat, refused to back him and humiliated him  just because he has Kenya in his name and you think he supports The Harambee Stars?

PRESIDENT M: Eh! But where’s Maurice? At least he knows how to break break his questions. You ask as if the question is chasing you.

SOME CHICK: I’m sorry. Any final word to our viewers, sir?

PRESIDENT M: Yeah.

SOME CHICK: Yes? Go on.

PRESIDENT M: You said a word.

SOME CHICK: It’s just a figure of speech. You can…

PRESIDENT M: Which figure? There were no figures in your sentence. Which university did you go to? Makerere?

SOME CHICK: No sir. Kenyatta Univ…

PRESIDENT M: Arrest her!

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