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My Boyfriend Has Serious Issues

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My Boyfriend has a Problem

Uncle Agony dear,

I have issues with my boyfriend. He is a mummy’s boy. He likes picking fights even over the smallest things you can thing of and he is a drunkard. Banange a piece of advice.

Me.

You dear,

You say you have issues with your boyfriend but these look like his issues, not yours. What I sense here is envy which, if not dealt with immediately, could lead to resentment. You envy him because he has issues and you don’t. But that’s okay.

What you now need is not advice. What you need is your own issues. It’s the only way to strike a manageable balance in your relationship. If he likes picking fights, go out and also pick something of your own. Like stones. You can even get issues that are way better than his. So what if he is a drunkard? Become a drug addict.

The only issue you shouldn’t worry about is his being a mummy’s boy. Unless his father rears a certain animal that he somehow fell in love with, married and impregnated to achieve him as the offspring, hence making him an animal’s boy, he, like eve

Let all Banks Join the InterSwitch

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A number of banks have in the past few months, joined the Inter switch better known as Bankom.
This is the service whereby customers of member banks can carry out simple transactions like depositing or withdrawing cash or cheques at any ATM belonging to the Inter switch group.

Centenary Bank, the largest bank in terms of customer numbers, GTA, CBA, have joined DFCU, Cairo International Bank, Finance trust, Opportunity Bank, Finca, Global Trust and UBA among others to ensure that customers of either bank can easily access services at Automated Teller Machines (ATMs) of member banks. Kenya Commercial Bank (KCB) is joinig soon.

The benefits to customers and the financial institutions are many;

First of all customers need not carry sums of money while travelling to distant places because they can conveniently withdraw or deposit money at the nearest Inter switch. This helps in reducing risks of robbery and other attendant security risks.

Secondly, banks don’t need to open cash points everywhere. All they need is to agree on who opens ATMs where and when and to ensure that they are well serviced all the time so that customers can withdraw cash or deposit any time need arises.

We all know the huge costs banks pay to maintain ATMs. There has to be security at each ATM, there is transporting cash, there is servicing the machines to ensure they have power all the time and also technicians have to be on alert all the time to ensure the machine is functioning.

But all these costs can be narrowed down if all banks join this service. In Europe, Asia and America and even in some African countries all banks are required to join the inter switch. What can be agreed is that the parent bank (The bank owning the cash point) ensures that there is liquidity (cash flow) all the time.

Banks can agree on the minimum number of cash points in a district, commercial area or region. They can agree on sharing information when opening a new cash point so that they avoid duplication.

It is common in Uganda today to see banks with outlets at malls like Garden City, Freedom City, Shoprite Lugogo in Kampala and other locations with many banks lining up in the same location whereas one ATM can serve customers.
Each banks has to meet the cost of paying for security guards and servicing the ATM. These can be reduced when all banks join the Inter switch point.

Why Human Rights Will Never Be Fully Enjoyed

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Everyone is entitled to his or her rights without discrimination, but that will never be attained in this world.

As you assume you have a right to do certain things, one may find your rights (actions) infringing on his/her freedom.

Remember a human right is a right that is believed to belong justifiably to every person.

These are moral principles that set out certain standards of human behaviour, and are regularly protected as legal rights in national and international law.

They are rights inherent to all human beings, whatever our nationality, place of residence, sex, national or ethnic origin, colour, religion, language, or any other status.

Furthermore, article 1 of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights: “All human beings are born free and equal in dignity and rights.”

However, much as we are all equally entitled to our human rights without discrimination, we will never fully enjoy them.

For example, you have right to hold your own opinions and to express them freely without government interference, but try and say something negative about someone prominent in government even when it is true, the next thing, you will find yourself in the coolers of Luzira Prison.

People working in the media have the right to freedom of expression and can should be free to criticise the state without fear of prosecution. But how many times have they done that and went scot free?

Remember the Monitor Siege in 2013. What had the journalists done? They were being denied their right to publish articles or information freely. But much as we have the freedom to express our views and beliefs, we have a duty to behave responsibly and to respect other people’s rights.

Public authorities may restrict your right to freedom of expression if they can show that their action has a proper basis in law and is necessary in order to protect health or morals, rights and reputations of other people and prevent disorder or crime.

Last week the Uganda Police Force released a statement saying it has the legal mandate to prevent and detect crime and to preserve law and order. This is reference to the recent reports on how the police has intervened and addressed factional differences within the political parties especially during demonstrations and political rallies.

“While we appreciate the interest of the public in certain aspects of our work, and the freedom the media has in reporting such stories, we insist that such freedom should be exercised responsibly, and facts and events reported accurately,” noted the statement.

In addition, Cap 303 of the Police Act further mandates the Uganda Police Force to protect other rights of individuals, maintain security within Uganda and ensure public safety and order.

However, above all this, one has to keep in mind that every person if free to express his or her self. But clearly, as you have read above, it will ever happen.

This brings me to the most controversial human right of sexual orientation. Is being gay, bi-sexual or a lesbian a human right?

We all have a sexual orientation and gender identity but this varies according to our communities and it affects all of us.

In some countries it may be legally right, in others like Uganda it is illegal. However, Amnesty International believes that all people, regardless of their sexual orientation or gender identity, should be able to enjoy their human rights.

Early this year, President Yoweri Museveni enacted the Anti-Homosexuality Law which proposes a life sentence for certain homosexual acts. But since it was signed, human rights activists and gay activists all over the world have condemned it.

So, at the end of it all, you realize that human rights will never be fully enjoyed.

 

Dstv Launches Women Campaign

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Dstv in partnership with the Soothing spa, one of Uganda’s one stop body pampering spas, has launched a campaign for women to be celebrated.

The event launched today at the soothing spa at Acacia mall in Kisementi, Kampala with women being treated to free facials and Aroma therapy treatments with the finest oils and comfortable environment. This was an experience that I must say will leave you wanting more.

The event was covered by Tina Wamala, the PR and Communications manager for Multichoice Uganda. For all the women subscribers, questions will be asked on 91.3 Capital FM radio and Radio One related to women and the subscribers that have the right answers will automatically get the full pampering treatment.

Dstv has launched this campaign because the female segment is about 50% of the client base for Dstv subscribers so as a token of appreciation.

Dstv has chose to recognize women and by rewarding them with spa treatments and providing lots of content geared towards the woman’s taste some of the Dstv channels fully packaged for women include E! Entertainment, Style, Africa Magic and Sony Entertainment.

Ex-Miss Uganda Asiimwe Shines At King Faisal Hospital

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Sources in Rwanda told us that Asiimwe is now the Senior Communications Officer at King Faisal Hospital located in Kigali city.

Asiimwe told Rwanda New Times that she had gone to “see a sick friend who had been admitted when I saw a job advert, applied, was shortlisted and called for an interview, and got the job”.

As per reports, she is committed to changing the face of the hospital to “be the best”.

“We make sure that no one complains about the same thing twice! We also always make sure that we don’t relax just because we have got positive feedback. We would love to be able to boast that we are one of the best internationally,” she was quoted as saying.

King Faisal Hospital

She also says that her media and marketing background has “actually helped me learn to deal with people of backgrounds—patients, nurses and doctors included”.

“Working in a hospital has, however, taught me to value life more and I now give doctors and nurses more respect!”

Asiimwe agrees that loving in Rwanda has helped her to “value life more”.

“Every time I see someone fighting for their life or too sick to go out and live a full life, I thank God for a healthy life. I thank God for every breath I take and every healthy day I live.”

“Hello” Raises Bar For Ugandan Tabloids

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On top of marking one year in existence, Hello Uganda has registered a tremendous success having served a well-balanced catalogue of well investigated and balanced stories, local and international news, analysis, exclusive pictures and the latest gossip about your celebrities across the country.

“The newspaper has now been re-designed to offer enough space to all advertisers and make it clear for all readers to understand the information passed,” said Dickson Mubiru, the Creative Designer.

Hello Uganda newspaper was launched last year by Red Pepper Publications in Namanve Kampala, as a weekly elite tabloid, billed to be the most sought after newspaper soon.

Hello’s Chief Editor, Dan Muhenda, says the paper came at the right time when Ugandans needed more soft talk but up-to-date information.

Important to note, Hello Uganda explores all the sexiest, juiciest and most hankered for beauties that the Pearl of Africa continues to boast of.

At only Shs 2,000, the reader can walk back home satisfied that all Ugandan gossip has been covered in that single volume.

Bebe Cool Throws Edith K Out of Gagamel

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Sources inside the group told us that Edith Nantabaazi, aka Edith Khedy, who replaced Rema Namakula has left Gagamel after failing to abide by the group’s rules and regulations.

After releasing his new song Nkola Byafayo, Bebe reportedly came up with new laws that will lead the group.

Edith Khedy is known for songs like Ompisa Bulungi, Yenze Oyo.

She joined Gagamel after Rema, the Kaliba star, got misunderstandings with Bebe Cool.

Recently, Bebe Cool performed with Edith Missing You and Cease and Sickle which were originally done by Rema and Bebe Cool at Kyadondo Rugby Grounds.

Bebecool says that Edith broke the agreement they made.

 

“She didn’t put the rules into consideration as we agreed. I would rather  stay with one person who understands the group’s agenda.”

Don’t get it twisted, lust is a beautiful thing…

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Lust Vs Love

That warm, honey brown feeling just above the loins.
This is what makes you do crazy/dumb things, like climb downstairs at 1 30 am on a rainy Tuesday morning into the bed of the boy in the flat below.

Here is a pro-tip;

Do not fuck around with the boy in the flat downstairs.
Under no circumstances should you go three rounds with him on the couch, with your mother’s portrait looking down upon you.

Don’t let him “crash on your couch”, after inviting him over for one of your lushy parties. It is only the most transparent excuse, how can you be too soused to step one flight down stairs but not too drunk to fuck (upright, doggy style, cowgirl, reverse cowgirl, praying mantis, downward-facing dog and lotus-flower-in-blossom).

When he tells you that he likes to watch you get off the boda after work in your black pencil skirt, don’t bother pretending to be offended by his comment After all, you get up early on Saturday mornings (early meaning midday), no matter how hungover, to catch him, sweaty, still swinging in basketball shorts, on his way from the gym. Most of all do not let him peel said skirt off you on a Friday afternoon.

If, despite your better judgement, you do decide to fuck him, do not be surprised when at 1 am on a rainy Tuesday night, tossing, and turning, you find yourself unable to sleep. Squeezing the covers between your thighs, your hand will find its way southward and your mind will find itself travelling downstairs and then bi-bi-beep, sure enough, “What’s up?”will appear on your phone. From there it is only a a few steps to tossing and turning in his bed instead.

Especially do not be shocked when you find yourself walk-of-shaming knicker-less in your nightgown at 6 the next morning, to be witnessed by the entire block of maids reporting for work (and the askari on his way to bed).

When you overhear the maid telling the guy who sweeps downstairs [no manya ngo ogo mwishiki na kwana omusigatzi womu F12?], don’t act like you do not understand vernacular.
When your local boda guys start acting friendlier than usual, do not bother attributing it to a plateauing of fuel prices, or your latest weave.

After the trysts with the boy downstairs inevitably come to an end, (citing his “work commitments” and not your sexual ADHD) when you come home giggling at another man’s lips on your neck do not squirm inwardly when the three of you meet awkwardly on the stairs.

When you are sneaking a joint on your balcony some breezy night at 2am and you spot him helping some high-heeled antelope of a girl in a blouse/dress out of his car and up the stairs, sleep easily instead of listening to their moans for two hours, imagining their acrobatics, remembering his dick and trying to ignore that honey warm brown feeling between your thighs.

Uganda to Market Idi Amin Good Side for Tourism Purpose

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KAMPALA, Uganda – Uganda Tourism Board, the official government tourism marketing arm has developed plans to start up a tourism trail for the late former Ugandan dictator president Idi Amin Dada with an aim of increasing on the tourists numbers.

Idi Amin was Uganda’s president between February 1971 and January 1979. He came to power after toppling his former boss Milton Obote in a military coup. He died in August 2003 after his family decided to disconnect life support machines of which he had spent several months due to kidney failure in a Jeddah hospital in Saudi Arabia.  He was buried in Ruwais Cemetery in Jeddah in a simple grave without any fanfare.“Apart from the bad things of Idi Amin, he did some good things.

He is a popular figure globally. Wherever you go they ask about Amin.

He is still stuck in people’s minds. We shall develop a trail for him to market it for tourism purposes,” said Mr. Stephen Asiimwe the Chief Executive Officer of the Uganda Tourism Board while making a presentation about their future plans to drive tourists to Uganda. He said they have developed a domestic, regional and international strategy to market and promote Uganda’s tourism.

“In the domestic tourism strategy, we have a strong cluster support like the Buganda Tourism Expo, Busoga Tourism Initiative, Bunyoro, Kigezi, Eastern Tourism Forum, and Northern Uganda’’ He explained

Among other initiatives include the school outreaches, imbalu carnival, Idi Amin Trail; we’re to develop, Kampala Trail, Uganda Martyrs Day Festival, Cultural events, Kampala Carnival, Sports events like golf tournaments.

These all have great potential to drive tourists’ numbers,” he added.

In the regional tourism marketing strategy Asiimwe said they will target people from the neighboring EAC states, encourage excursions by regional tour operators, carry out media familiarization trips and do a lot of promotion on the social media.

“We shall have road shows, share signature events like Kwita Izina, Magical Kenya, Karibu Festival through encouraging reverse travel and through the use of the EAC Tourist Visa and regional collaborations,” Asiimwe told a collection of private sector investors in tourism, government officials and parliamentarians at the Imperial Royale Hotel in Kampala.

At the international scene Asiimwe hopes to challenge negative pre-visitor perceptions of famine, hunger and wars, engage international public relations firms in key source markets and engage buyers in international firms.

He said they will do fam trips with media companies and travel writers abroad to change perception such that they can have a first-hand feel of Uganda’s tourism, work out collaborations with embassies, foreign missions abroad and participation in international tourism fairs.

In the quality assurance division, Asiimwe said they will ensure that all private investors in the sector are licensed and registered; they will enforce and monitor standards while carrying out inspection, grading, classification of tourist facilities and standards.

“To ensure investment promotion, we shall create a tourism investment portfolio with all the benefits that will accrue on Returns on Investments, identify special economic and investment zones and engage government agencies like Uganda Wildlife Authority, Uganda Investment Authority to remove red tape.”

Richard Kabonera Cautions Uganda, Rwanda Bans TelexFREE Operations

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The Ugandan ambassador to Rwanda, Richard Kabonero has cautioned Uganda against schemes in TelexFREE business and confirmed Rwanda’s ban on the operations,

The Government of Rwanda has banned TelexFREE operations in the country due to reports of money laundering.

Ambassador Kabonero, confirmed the news on Monday on his twitter page.

Rwanda bans telexfree operations.Uganda needs to look into this to protect the public. pic.twitter.com/IqF0gGnZsa

— Richard Kabonero (@richardkabonero) March 17, 2014

The statement released by Rwanda Ministry of Trade and Industry on Friday says that this operation would jeopardize the financial sector of the country.

“Basing on the investigation report carried out by the National Bank of Rwanda in conjunction with the Ministry of Trade Industry of 19th February 2014 on the operations of P.L.I Telexfree Ltd activities are similar to that of a pyramid scheme which can easily be a channel to jeopardize the financial sector and facilitate Money Laundering,” says the statement.

“The Ministry of Trade and Industry hereby informs the general public that the operations of P.L.I TELEXFREE RWANDA Ltd are banned,” said Mr Francis Kanimba, the Minister of Trade and Industry.

Ambassador Kabonero also advised Uganda to follow suit by banning such operations.

The operations of this business have attracted many people with its quick cash back philosophy.

Meanwhile, TelexFREE was also banned in Brazil and is under investigation in the US and other countries around the world on suspicions that it could be a Ponzi scheme.

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