Erias Lukwago, winner of the recently concluded Kampala city mayoral elections has pledged to diligently take nice photographs, wear clean suits, shake hands properly, eat his meals on time and regularly check his newly elected watch to see how much time is left to get off work and go to Steakout during his very busy 5 year term in office.
The pledge comes in light of the new administrative structure which reduces the new mayor to a largely ceremonial political head of the capital just and transfers the pragmatic stewardship of Kampala to the hands of an Executive Director who will be directly appointed by the Man In A Hat Who Keeps Calling People’s Phones Up To Now. (Man!)
In a joint statement that included his newly appointed shoes and boxers, Mr. Erias Elyas Werewolf Lukwigz Lukwamanagangsta Lukwago said that he will not disappoint his people. “I will carry out my duties of looking good and being just there just for just with one heart like this,” he said.
Mr. Elyas Lupimping was also quick to remind his voters that he was sure he still had a purpose in life and that they didn’t celebrate his victory wildly for nothing. “I am still your man and I will continue making noise for the ruling party until my cries are almost heard.”