It is said that KQ, the Pride of Africa with the exception of a few areas, had President Museveni stuck after failing to pick him from Mbarara.

First, who or what is Mbarara?

Mbarara is a landlocked country in Uganda that can be accessed by air or by milk. Its economy thrives mostly on the exportation of politicians and fake accents used in the production of struggling radio ads.

So how then did President Museveni get stuck in a country filled with such great promise? It could be any of two reasons.

1. KQ’s planes do not have the capacity to carry all of 28 years in power.
2. Air Uganda & Uganda Airlines fell in love and eloped.

But not to worry. Studies show that there are 10 possible ways to avoid getting stuck in Mbarara.

1. Call KQ customer service and ask them to send a plane.
2. Wonder what’s wrong, call back and ask KQ to forget the plane and just send a pilot.
3. If the pilot is still in the toilet, ask KQ to send a cab.
4. Ask KQ to ask Air Uganda to pick you.
5. Called Sula the boda guy and ask him to pick fuel from KQ and come for you.
6. Call President Kenyatta and report KQ.
7. Call KQ customer service and ask if they’ve received a threat from President Kenyatta.
8. Call back and ask why the hell they just hang up on you.
9. Update your facebook as inquiries are made.
10. If still stuck, you should probably just take a taxi.